He's Like A Detuned Radio

This blog is a place to vent and was created on the advice of a friend who said this would be good for stress relief. So for the most part I don't write when I'm in a happy state of mind. I write when I'm pissed. It seems for every step forward we take it's followed by a liver shot that leaves my cowering on the ground in pain.

Check out Albert's blog for a different viewpoint on something I had posted earlier.

Or as they tend to say down here, high-fifties, that crazy Fahrenheit scale. Speaking of crazy, this weather is absolutely gorgeous, got a chance to toss the ol' football around today. What a waste, I could've been golfing had there been some grass on the ground or if I had had my clubs.

As I alluded to in my title yesterday, I seem to be much more at ease since the weekend. The sarcasm hasn't been flowing as usual and even now I can't see myself getting worked up over things. Especially with the weather, the upcoming concert season, new albums by Weezer, NIN, The White Stripes and Coldplay coming out, Radiohead starting to record their new album, The Strokes almost finishing their album. Almost forgot about Coachella. This is in spite of the fact that I read an incredibly depressing book on the weekend about the state of the world and media, Censored 2005. As an environmental kind of guy, this is what stuck with me:

"The EPA altered a report on the environmental damage of a hydraulic fracturing process developed by Halliburton, Dick Cheney's former company. Hydraulic fracturing involves the injection of benzene into the ground, which in turn contaminates ground water supplies on the federal limit." Pg. 46

Are we so desperate for oil and natural gas that we're injecting benzene into our soil? It's a fucking carcinogen that can infiltrate through soil into groundwater supplies. OK, maybe they can still piss me off but what a bunch of evil fuckers.

I'm losing my edge.
Losing My Edge - LCD Soundsystem

It's been a fun and interesting long weekend. I love having a free weekend off with nothing to do except being with the people that I want to be with. Orthodox Easter rocks, I recommend converting today. But before I get to that, this has bothering me for the last couple of days:

The meme that states that as students in university we are here to learn how to learn. What a load of bullshit. As an engineering student, my responsibility isn't to learn how to learn, it's to learn how to keep our water safe, or build buildings or whatever else you may be doing. Sitting in Mass Transport again today, I realised no job is ever going to make me remember critical thinking skills that I learned in class, but, God forbid I actually end up with a job that relates to this, I better know what the Slattery equation is and how to use it. Learning to learn is for Arts students who don't learn anything else in school and have no real world use.

Yes. I am feeling extra pretentious and condescending today.

Now why do I feel this way? Possibly because right now, I just don't care.

My weekend in song via The Cure:

I’ve waited hours for this
I’ve made myself so sick
I wish I’d stayed asleep today
I never thought that this day would end
I never thought that tonight could ever be
This close to me

You
Soft and only
You
Lost and lonely
You
Strange as angels
Dancing in the deepest oceans
Twisting in the water
You’re just like a dream

Then curl up by the fire
And sleep for awhile
It’s the grooviest thing
It’s the perfect dream

It’s never enough
It’s never enough
It’s never enough
It’s never enough
It’s never, it’s never enough

Songs that in the past that didn't resonate at all now send chills down my spine. But at least they were good songs. Out of everything that I may become, I'm not going to end up lame.

So with my Venturi Scrubber Design assignment possibly due tomorrow, I've pretty much set my sights on coming home and have given up on it. It may be due, it may not. I may have an extension, I may not. Lord know it won't help because I know I'm not going to touch it over the weekend. 24 hours, I'll be back at Union.

Indie 103.1 is playing Toto right now. I love Indie 103.1. Where else can you hear Toto, Frank Sinatra, The Futureheads and Nirvana? Nowhere.

Even with the fact that I'm going to crap out on this assignment has done nothing to damper my mood for the day. Between scoring the first three Weezer tickets for the show at the Kool Haus (GA0, Seats 1-3) and the fact that I'm heading home and that fact that Radiohead announced that they're going to start recording a new album, I'm pretty stoked.

Even the freak snowstorm after all the snow had melted today has had an impact. I was going to write about how I seem to be a masochist and enjoy the struggle that is my life. But I'm being kicked out of the lab in 5 minutes, so blame that for non-sensical rantings and lack of editing.

Beverly Hills, that's where I want to be.
Beverly Hills - Weezer

So it all goes to plan I’ll be able to see Weezer twice in a week, once at Coachella and once at the Kool Haus thus making this the greatest birthday ever. Plus they still have to tour once the album comes out; can you see three-peat? I’m hoping I can. It's pretty much a guarantee that I'll have absolutely no energy for the Saturday, meaning it'll be the worst birthday party ever.

So, I got all of my midterm marks in. 86, 85, 73, 70, 69, 38. That 38 is pretty ugly, isn't it? But aside from that I'm pretty happy with the marks. All of them were above the average and thanks to good tutorial/assignments/lab marks; I should be in 80s for everything before the finals.

Blast off! Up to the stars we go
And leave behind everything I used to know
Somebody's giving me a whole lot money to do
What I think I want to
So why am I still feeling blue?
Oh what a time though...

Blast Off - Weezer

Go Huskies. Knock off those dirty Cardinals and deliver me into the $362 at the end of the rainbow.

Go Blue Devils.

That was today’s post. I had wanted to post this yesterday but got sidetracked last night.

What is more important in this world? A brain-dead woman in Florida who is a vegetable or another school shooting that was the worst school shooting since Columbine? Personally, I don’t give a crap about this woman; she’s a political football in an increasingly aging state with 27 electoral votes. The fact that Bush flew across the country to sign a meaningless law was nothing but pandering to certain aspects of the country. And the fact that no one on either side of Congress realises how ridiculous this is, is even worse. On the other hand, we had 9 innocent lives lost and another 7 wounded. But this is the number two story everywhere. Probably not even that in some places. I’m sure the news that Barry Bonds might not play this year was more important. So a white woman with no cerebral cortex and has been a vegetative state for 14 years is more important the deaths of 9 Native Americans in another, possibly preventable, school shooting. Politicians and the media alike both need a slap in the face. At some point, society has to change, priorities need to be re-evaluated and it doesn’t look like things are going to get better any time soon.

Take Your Time, Fuckwad.

Don’t even fucking get me started on Michael Jackson and the Sudan.

I haven't posted since Tuesday since I've been busy the last two days with two of my more common activities, studying and drinking. My last midterm was Wednesday night at 5:30 so spent all day studying for it. I'd expect a 70, it's always best to have low expectations, it makes them so much easier to exceed.

So after 5 and a half semesters in Windsor, I finally got taken to a townie bar. First words of advice when going in "Don't worry about it. We've got your back if someone wants to pick a fight with you." Oh wow, this is going to be a fun night. Nevermind, that the smoke is burning away at my eyes and making me feel even more nauseous than before. Why was I nauseous? Probably since I started drinking at 2:30 on an empty stomach and kept eating while I was drinking to stop myself from getting trashed since I still had law last night. So that didn't work out as planned. So I wasn't feeling so well by the time we got to the bar and after five minutes, I joined the exclusive club of people who have thrown up in the washroom at Feelgood's. It was the best thing that could've happened, I felt much better after that act. And aside from the scary group of cougars who were eyeing our group and had said to my friend, "We don't play pool. We do other things." in an obvious pick-up attempt, the guy with the guitar absolutely butchering Yellow Ledbetter and the smoke continuing to burn away, it was alright.

85 on the law midterm. Not too shabby. One more mark to come. And my bracket has stood up well through the first day going 14/16.

A international 3-pack of links:

No Diving Doesn’t Mean No Diving

It’s A Bird, It’s A Bomb. No, It’s Just A Scooter

Who Needs Guns? I Got Me A Crossbow

So it truly was a Kyritsis-esque test. From the "easy" problems, to the total class dejection, to the failing marks.

38.

Fucking 38.

Oh well, what am I going to do except say that I despise Mass Transport. And that as sympathy for all our failing marks, he'll drop the midterm and mark the final as 90% of our total mark if we do better on it. This is not going to be pretty...

I truly do not understand fascination with celebrity. Especially people who are famous because they're rich or becuase they're lip-synching abilities are astounding. No link today because I'm not giving these people any more attention. In spite of the completely idiotic things that they do.

6 weeks and 2 hours left to go until I'm done. Luckily, for anyone reading this you'll be done way before me due to Windsor's completely crap schedule.

I'm nearing that burnout phase where after 6 and a half months of school, I'm beginning to lose interest at the worst possible time. Design projects are going to start being due; presentations are going to have get done and I still have to keep pace with weekly tutorials and assignments. With a final mid-term tomorrow and a project due next Thursday, I just need to ride these out and come back after Easter refreshed and ready to blaze through that last month. Reading week didn't really do it, I came back even more tired and lethargic. Instead of energizing me, it just reminded how nice it feels to do absolutely nothing.

It's like a drug. All you can think about is getting more. And fighting it cold turkey just makes it worse. And it's there, out of reach, waiting until the world shifts, bringing me ever closer. Just one hit, that's all I want.

'Cause when the smack begins to flow then I really don't care anymore.
Heroin - Velvet Underground

So I guess wisdom and insight doesn't necessarily come with age. Even the smallest issue has to be magnified until it's a grand ol' commotion. It's my weekend and I'll choose to decide when I'll come and go. It should be pretty obvious that I'm not coming to home to see you. That weekend is dedicated to one person and she's why I'm coming home early and leaving later and that means I'll be missing classes, well that's what's going to happen.

A forced laughter echoes throughout the room projecting as if he's having a good time. He slowly glances around the see if anyone can tell how tired and lonely he is. No one does. No one is paying him any attention. It didn't use to be like this but that was a long time ago in a far off place. If he could just turn and run and it wears him out, wears him out, wears him out, wears him out...

Because Tongue Rings Just Fall Out Without Noticing

Now You Can Kill From The Comfort Of Your Own Home

I have to admit in the past few years while at home, I've become incredibly non-reliant on restaurant chains for my take-out food. Why go for Mr. Sub when you can have some Roti Boys? Mr. Greek or Pizza Pizza? Why bother? You've got Hunters' and McCoy's. Then there's Federick's and Agincourt Bakery. Pretty much the only chain I go to while at home is Licks' and that's because I was raised on their burgers and it's like a drug. I wish there was one in Windsor.

For the record, Popeye's does not count. I'm never sitting at home when I suddenly think, man I could go for some pure grease that'll clog up my throat and render my unable to do anything physical for the next couple of hours. In spite of that, nothing is better than going with your friends and having a Po' Boy sandwich and some wine.

So imagine my surprise when a Quiznos opened up just down the street from us in Windsor. It was a lifesaver. About a 6 minute walk, on my way there I pass 5 bars and a Chinese restaurant. I would eat at the bars and support local business if it wasn't for two things.
1. The food sucks. Menus are often have very few things for a real meal and food doesn't tend to be cheap.
2. You can still smoke in bars in Windsor.

And the Chinese food in Windsor is just down-right awful. It's flavourless and bland.

Remember the episode of South Park with the underwear gnomes.

1. Collect underpants
   
2. ?
   
3. Profit

Well, that wasn't the primary point of the episode. It was about the evil coffee corporation coming into town and threatening to shut down Tweek's parents coffee shop. Everyone is in an uprage until they realise Tweek's coffee is crap. Pretty much same situation here except I don't think Quiznos is going to put anyone out of business. Why? They don't sell beer at Quiznos.

1. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Y-Control (4:00)
2. Interpol - Slow Hands (3:04)
3. Kasabian - Club Foot (3:34)
4. Billy Talent - Try Honesty (4:02)
5. Death From Above 1979 - You're A Woman I'm A Machine (2:53)
6. The Crystal Method & Filter - Trip Like I Do (4:27)
7. Stabbing Westward - What Do I Have To Do? (4:09)
8. Deftones - Be Quiet And Drive (Far Away) (5:08)
9. Smashing Pumpkins - Bullet With Butterfly Wings (4:17)
10. Pearl Jam - Do The Evolution (3:54)
11. White Zombie - Thunder Kiss '65 (3:53)
12. Alice In Chains - Man In The Box (4:46)
13. Soundgarden - Black Hole Sun (5:17)
14. Stone Temple Pilots - Unglued (2:34)
15. Beck - Devil's Haircut (3:14)
16. Matthew Good Band - Load Me Up (3:40)
17. Our Lady Peace - Superman's Dead (4:16)
18. I Mother Earth - One More Astronaut (5:24)
19. Oasis - Supersonic (4:43)
20. Radiohead - Just (3:54)
21. Muse - Hysteria (3:47)
22. Music - Breakin (3:58)
23. Catherine Wheel - Sparks are Gonna Fly (4:16)
24. Franz Ferdinand - Take Me Out (3:57)
25. The Rapture - House of Jealous Lovers (5:04)
26. The Streets - Fit But You Know It (4:14)
27. Coldplay - Clocks (5:07)
28. The Darkness - I Believe In A Thing Called Love (3:38)
29. Modest Mouse - Float On (3:28)
30. Brand New - Sic Transit Gloria ... Glory Fades (3:09)
31. Weezer - Buddy Holly (2:39)
32. Hot Hot Heat - Talk With Me, Dance With Me (2:47)
33. Basement Jaxx - Where's Your Head At? (5:11)
34. Groove Armada - Superstylin' (6:02)
35. Daft Punk - Da Funk (5:29)
36. The Chemical Brothers - Block Rockin' Beats (5:13)
37. Cypress Hill - Rock Superstar (4:22)
38. Body Count - Body Count's in the House (4:10)
39. A Perfect Circle - Judith (4:07)
40. Tool - Ænima (6:39)
41. Incubus - Pardon Me (3:43)
42. Phantom Planet - Big Brat (3:26)
43. The New Pornographers - Mass Romantic (4:04)
44. The Killers - Somebody Told Me (3:17)
45. Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - Love Burns (3:40)
46. Soundtrack Of Our Lives - Sister Surround (3:36)
47. The White Stripes - Fell In Love With A Girl (1:50)
48. The Strokes - Last Night (3:17)
49. The Hives - Hate To Say I Told You So (3:22)
50. The Vines - Get Free (2:06)
51. Marilyn Manson - Beautiful People (3:42)
52. Rob Zombie - Dragula (The Hod Rod Herman Remix) (4:37)
53. The Beastie Boys - Sabotage (2:59)
54. System Of A Down - Chop Suey (3:30)
55. Orgy - Blue Monday (4:25)
56. Rammstein - Du Hast (3:55)
57. Nine Inch Nails - Closer (6:12)
58. Rage Against The Machine - Killing In The Name (5:14)
59. The Transplants - Diamonds and Guns (4:01)
60. Queens Of The Stone Age - No One Knows (4:38)
61. The Prodigy - Smack My Bitch Up (5:42)
62. Fatboy Slim - Star 69 (5:43)
63. Blur - Song 2 (2:02)
64. Foo Fighters - Everlong (4:10)
65. Red Hot Chili Peppers - Can't Stop (4:29)
66. Nirvana - Smells Like Teen Spirit (5:01)
67. The Offspring - Self-Esteem (4:17)
68. Green Day - Hitchin' A Ride (2:51)
69. Goldfinger - Counting the Days (3:28)
70. Sublime - Santeria (3:04)
71. Gorillaz - Clint Eastwood (5:42)
72. Underworld - Born Slippy (9:44)

There it is. A night out that's jam-packed of musical goodies both old and new. No embarassing omissions and nothing that makes you want to hang your head in shame that people actually like them. Well, actually there are a couple but to leave them out would be criminal. The only rules were one song per band and the Edge has actually played that song. I just did this so I couldn't put Myxomatosis on the list which I would do because that songs is so awesome.

Who Prosecutes The Sex Crime Prosecuter For Sex Crimes?

That last posting sucked. While it did have a point, it was deluded and pretty badly written. Pretty much like everything I write.

The dinner is going to be sweet though.

So the music at the Phoenix blew last week. Maybe it was a one-off thing, it'll be better tonight. I'll sit at home, crank up the Edge and relax. No, it sucked again. So after years of talking about it, I made a solid 5-hour Edge club music playlist. By my count, they played 74 songs in 5 hours. 34 of which were crap. So they were pulled. Replaced with Pearl Jam, Alice in Chains, Soundgarden, Smashing Pumpkins, Beck, Radiohead to form a "retro" set. Then some Canadian retro, OLP, MGB, IME.

Still kept some of the favourites like Basement Jaxx and Groove Armada. And of course, ended the set with some Clint Eastwood.

This is what was pulled and what it was replaced with:

“UPGRADES”

Shocore – Bonecracker <> Interpol – Slow Hands

Linkin Park – Breakin’ The Habit <> Filter & Crystal Method – Trip Like I Do

Korn – Did My Time <> The Smashing Pumpkins – Bullet With Butterfly Wings

Finger Eleven – Drag You Down <> The Deftones – Be Quiet And Drive (Far Away)

Thornley – So Far, So Good <> Pearl Jam – Do The Evolution

Danko Jones – Bounce <> Finger Eleven – Above

Kittie – Brackish <> Alice In Chains – Man In The Box

Rammstein – Amerika <> Soundgarden – Black Hole Sun

Velvet Revolver – Set Me Free <> Death From Above 1979 - You're A Woman I'm A Machine

Audioslave – Show Me How To Live <> Stone Temple Pilots – Big Bang Baby

Cold – Stupid Girl <> Beck – The New Pollution

P.O.D. - Boom <> Matthew Good Band – Load Me Up

Marilyn Manson – Mobscene <> Our Lady Peace – Superman’s Dead

Papa Roach – She Love Me Not <> I Mother Earth – One More Astronaut

Chevelle – Send The Pain Below <> Radiohead – Just

The Salads – Get Loose <> Modest Mouse – Float On

Goldfinger – Wasted Again <> Music – Breakin

Fear Factory - Linchpin <> The Rapture – House of Jealous Lovers

Alien Ant Farm – Smooth Criminal <> The Streets – Fit But You Know It

Skindred – Nobody <> Coldplay – Clocks

Three Days Grace – Just Like You <> The Darkness – I Believe In A Thing Called Love

Sum 41 – We’re All To Blame <> Hot Hot Heat – Talk With Me, Dance With Me

Godsmack – Whatever <> Daft Punk – Da Funk

Finger Eleven – First Time <> The Vines – Get Free

Disturbed – Stupify <> The White Stripes – Fell In Love With A Girl

Korn – Falling Away From Me <> The Strokes – Last Night

Pantera – Walk <> Rob Zombie –Dragula (The Hod Rod Herman Remix)

311 – Come Original <> Green Day – When I Come Around

Powerman 5000 – When Worlds Collide <> Goldfinger – Counting The Days

Drowning Pool – Bodies <> Sublime – Santeria

Finger Eleven – Good Times <> Gorillaz – Clint Eastwood

Korn – Shoots and Ladders

Limp Bizkit – Break Stuff

Sneaker Pimps – Spin, Spin, Sugar

Honestly, I don't know how interested I am in continuing to go to the Phoenix if they keep playing crap like that. Pantera? Are you fucking kidding me? 3 songs by both Korn and Finger Eleven?

No, I don't have a life in this city. Can you tell?

I woke up happy this morning for the first time in a while. Almost eager to get back to books to continue to study for my midterm today. It seems like it was worth it since I just blazed through that exam like a chronic blunt. Easily the best midterm of the semester. On par with the feelings that I had after some of those 90s from last semester. I felt so good that when I was walking home I was thinking about how much I'd enjoy a Stella when I got here. Crank up some "Fit But You Know It" and relax.

No bottle opener.

Damn Stella bottles aren't twistoffs. I should know that by now. So instead of Mike Skinner and Ms. Artois I went for some Electric Six and Sleeman. Not as enjoyable. Oh well, I'm in too good of a mood for something as trite as that to ruin it.

If there's a goal that everyone remembers it was back in ol' 72
We all squeezed the stick and we all pulled the trigger
And all I remember was sitting beside you
You said you didn't give a fuck about hockey
And I never saw someone say that before
You held my hand and we walked home the long way
You were loosening my grip on Bobby Orr

Fireworks, The Tragically Hip

Just change '72 to '05, hockey to basketball and Bobby Orr to March Madness. Maybe it won't keep the same beat but it's much more relevant to me. And maybe get rid of the bit about the stick too. Much of the hesitation and anxiety that I've experienced is probably just based around change. There's the old saying, "The more things change, the more they stay the same." There's also the interesting corollary, "The more things change, the more fucked up everything becomes." Hmmm...I don't think that's a corollary. Anyways, March Madness has been a part of my March for as long as I can remember, dating back to the first trip to Myrtle Beach in 1989. 16 years of watching every game, filling out a bracket, betting some money and having a good time doing it. Last year, I almost won $140 in a pool. I'm real excited about it again this year.

Saying that though, I'm surprised at the ease at which I've been able to blow it off. And that's a good thing. Instead of sitting in a bar with my friends, knocking back beers, eating deep-fried goodies and cheering on our teams, I'll be sitting at home with an awesome personally-made dinner with the person who means more to me than anything else right now. I guess if there was no change, life would be pretty dull.

She may loosen my grip on March Madness, but I'll never loosen my grip on my friends. They were there before, they're there now and if there is an after, hopefully not, they'll be there then too.

What That Flavour? It's Not Weed.

I can't believe how bad I suck, it's true
What could you possibly see in little ol' 3-chord me?

Falling For You, Weezer

It just keeps looping in my mind, things that should've been said, times that should've been referenced. It wasn't a "No", more of a "Maybe...Leaning Towards Yes", except that it feels like a "No". Why?

Why can't I be happy with the fact that I'm so close to something, that's been waited on for so long? Am I just programmed this way? To suck the joy out of every occasion in order to analyze for everything that went wrong. And then to fixate on those things until I can't take it any more and it's driving me crazy. I'm tired of feeling this way, it's been like this for longer than I know. It's already cost me once and I'm afraid it might happen again.

It's such a delicate balance between the rational and emotional sides of things. For a brief moment, the rational side let down its guard and was overrun. The flood quickly stopped but the damage had been done.

It's never an easy thing to allow yourself to be opened up and prodded and poked, especially for me. It just burst. A torrent of words came flooding out threatening to drown all that had been built up over the past seven months. As much as it sounds to the opposite, I don't regret what happened. I meant it and it was the truth.

I feel so conflicted...and I don't think this helped at all.

Shipping Radioactive Materials In A Pickup. Good Idea?

Other more pressing issues at hand. I don't seem to be as good at reading people as I thought I was. Maybe I shouldn't be playing poker tomorrow.

The past week and a half I've been sweating the small stuff: worrying about the smallest detail, the smallest mistake, the smallest omission. Last night, I realised that none of that matters. In the real world, as opposed to the one created inside my head, no one is as critical of me as I am. Sometimes you need a friend to show you the truth, to pull the blinders off your eyes and expose you to the true reality of a situation. A new viewpoint on things combined with a recent conversation made me realise things aren't nearly as bad as I thought.

I can't get Galvanize by The Chemical Brothers out of my head. Depressing link of the day coming soon...

Was I on Acid in high school? I wasn't? Then why am I having flashbacks to Kyritsis math. Transport mid-term was brutal. Half-way through the prof says about a proof, "This is easy. Solve it in 2 lines." No one I talked to got it. Over half the class failed.

Not Going To Spank Your Child? Then He's Suspended

For someone as obsessed about music as I am, it's a surprise to me, how little it matters that you don't care at all. Now maybe the Phoenix blew on Saturday, it's had better days. But even then I don't mind that you have no interest in being there and enjoying some classic tuneage. Sometimes, I surprise myself. This was one of those times.

Sitting around on campus, waiting for a review session at 5:00. Got the iPod on shuffle and the Transport notes lying everywhere. I've forgotten how easy it is to detach yourself from the world, everything seems tuned out or muted. Marks from mid-terms are going to start pouring in over the next couple of weeks; I'm not expecting anything half-decent.

And hours turn into days...

Looks like there's an engineering formal in two weeks and there's a grad one this Saturday in a far-off place.

And days turn into weeks...

Luckily, I've got enough music to last through these weeks.

Some People Just Can't Take A Hint

So I "sold out" and created a blog for myself. Not so much for others but more for myself. Sort of like an online journal that I won't lose.

We'll see how this works out; I might just give up on it in a couple of weeks if it blows. It probably will. At the very least, I hope to provide some news from around the world, mostly the U.S., on how the world is decaying around us. Let's start with this one:

Stories About Zombies Constitute A Terrorist Threat

For those of you aware and care about my ongoing long-distance relationship, you'll understand the random messages that deal with various things that are going on.

It feels like a game where the rules keep changing. I get comfortable with one set of circumstances and then we get together and everything changes in 2 days and it takes 3 weeks to work it out. For those who don't, let me leave this at "It's good. And despite the crappiness of the 900 km distance, it's worth it."