You're A Women, Am I A Machine?
I can't believe how bad I suck, it's true
What could you possibly see in little ol' 3-chord me?
Falling For You, Weezer
It just keeps looping in my mind, things that should've been said, times that should've been referenced. It wasn't a "No", more of a "Maybe...Leaning Towards Yes", except that it feels like a "No". Why?
Why can't I be happy with the fact that I'm so close to something, that's been waited on for so long? Am I just programmed this way? To suck the joy out of every occasion in order to analyze for everything that went wrong. And then to fixate on those things until I can't take it any more and it's driving me crazy. I'm tired of feeling this way, it's been like this for longer than I know. It's already cost me once and I'm afraid it might happen again.
It's such a delicate balance between the rational and emotional sides of things. For a brief moment, the rational side let down its guard and was overrun. The flood quickly stopped but the damage had been done.
It's never an easy thing to allow yourself to be opened up and prodded and poked, especially for me. It just burst. A torrent of words came flooding out threatening to drown all that had been built up over the past seven months. As much as it sounds to the opposite, I don't regret what happened. I meant it and it was the truth.
I feel so conflicted...and I don't think this helped at all.
What could you possibly see in little ol' 3-chord me?
Falling For You, Weezer
It just keeps looping in my mind, things that should've been said, times that should've been referenced. It wasn't a "No", more of a "Maybe...Leaning Towards Yes", except that it feels like a "No". Why?
Why can't I be happy with the fact that I'm so close to something, that's been waited on for so long? Am I just programmed this way? To suck the joy out of every occasion in order to analyze for everything that went wrong. And then to fixate on those things until I can't take it any more and it's driving me crazy. I'm tired of feeling this way, it's been like this for longer than I know. It's already cost me once and I'm afraid it might happen again.
It's such a delicate balance between the rational and emotional sides of things. For a brief moment, the rational side let down its guard and was overrun. The flood quickly stopped but the damage had been done.
It's never an easy thing to allow yourself to be opened up and prodded and poked, especially for me. It just burst. A torrent of words came flooding out threatening to drown all that had been built up over the past seven months. As much as it sounds to the opposite, I don't regret what happened. I meant it and it was the truth.
I feel so conflicted...and I don't think this helped at all.
